Because Embarrassment of Riches has come to be my protracted love letter to New York City, I'd be remiss to leave out mention of the times I'm most head-over-heels for it: while running. I post more infrequently about running than I used to, but that doesn't mean I've hung up my sneakers. Far from it - I'm pounding the pavement six days a week. It's difficult for me to blog about running. I'm actually a private person for having so public an online presence, and running is probably the closest to practicing religion I'll ever come. It's my outlet when I'm upset or anxious, and because I've stopped listening to music during my runs, I have nothing but my own thoughts to occupy my time. A lot of problems get worked out in those 50 minutes. It's also the only time during my waking hours that the cruel inner voice is silenced and I am at peace with my body. During every run I am struck by a profound sense of gratitude that my legs can easily carry me for miles. Weight, stretch marks, and pant size seem inconsequential by comparison.
There are also practical considerations that have kept me from blogging about running. I can't capture the pre-dawn majesty of the Manhattan skyline from the Brooklyn Bridge without lugging my giant DSLR along with me. Words can't convey the comfort of repetition I've come to know: passing the same jovial old man on his way to work, the vendor unloading palettes of fruit, the woman with the chihuahua. How can I explain the gut-flipping terror at seeing a shadowy figure standing a few feet off the running trail in Prospect Park at 4:45 in the morning? Or the rage at nearly being hit by a careless driver on nearly every single run (hence the morbid, but hopefully not necessary, new Road ID pictured above)?
Two summers ago, I logged so many miles that my pelvis snapped in two places, without warning. Like someone deceived by the person they love most, I've looked at running with suspicious sidelong glances ever since. It has taken me a long time to trust again: the damage to my psyche lingered far longer than the impact on my bones. Now I can finally run without that niggling fear that my bones will betray me. Thankfully, with running, the capacity for improvement is astonishing. On Saturday, we completed our first of many weekly long runs leading up to our spring marathon. The miles seemed to tick by easily, a suspicion confirmed afterward by my Garmin GPS watch: all ten were equally swift. As I ate my post-run pretzel croissant in the only-just-opened City Bakery, I felt a sense of accomplishment that carried me through the rest of the day. Make no mistake about it: in running, much like in life, there are tough spells too. It's not all rainbows and unicorns. But those good times make the ride worth it.
11 comments:
I admire your commitment to running so much! I have a hard time just getting myself to the gym (I swear I'll go today, I swear). I actually don't enjoy it, but I don't enjoy the weight I've put on, either. Vicious circle. I'm trying to get to the place where you are. Not distance or time-wise, but to that place where you look forward to it. It's so hard! That's why I'm going to buy new sneakers today :-)
Beautifully written.
In the past few months, I, too, have come to appreciate the majesty of my morning runs: quietly getting out of bed so I don't wake my wife, getting out into the frosty world, the casual camaraderie with the people you repeatedly pass, the purity of mind and thought that extends throughout the day. It's a wonderful, cheap way to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.
My problem is that I want to do it too much; as a relative novice, I have to remind myself to take days off and slow down. I was over-working myself which, while it didn't lead to injuries, left me feeling drained instead of energized. Right now I'm doing about 5 (sometimes 6) mornings a week, totaling around 40-45 miles. Did I do my math right? Are you doing 10 mile runs in 50 minutes?!
I'm glad you've reclaimed your love of running and I wish you lots of luck on your marathon. I'm gonna tackle a half marathon this spring and, who knows, maybe attempt a full one in the fall. We'll see. Keep enjoying those crisp mornings and (my motto for this year) "just keep moving."
By the way, I'm guessing those Road IDs are worthwhile? I've been meaning to pick one up.
It's so funny to think about those early runs years ago when I coaxed you to 2 minutes of consecutive running, then 5 minutes, then that first mile. I'm sure you hated me on many of those runs.
Now you have become the running fanatic, pushing me out of bed and out the door on those cold mornings.
I am so proud of you for many reasons, but to see how strong you've become as a runner is awesome.
Vanessa, I've always said one won't enjoy running until good at it. If you can withstand a few months of sheer misery, you'll be rewarded.
Matt, I should have had you write my post - you're far more eloquent than I. And yes, I think Road IDs are a good idea if you don't tend to carry a drivers license or cell (I never do). I couldn't bear the thought of becoming a Jane Doe injured (or worse) in the hospital while Shawn searched for me.
Shawn, my newfound role as your running coach and cheerleader was in my original draft, but since you've gotten your mojo back I cut it :)
i definitely admire people who are runners, it definitely takes dedication. i would love to start running, i just give up to easy on it when it's hard. But i think i should give it another chance.
Does this mean you're coming to Toronto in the spring to run? I sure hope so.
This post is really inspiring. I've been running for about 5 years now but I'm no where near the level I would like to be. I constantly have to motivate myself. I've chosen to run outdoors this winter which will be hard, but I figure it will only make me stronger.
This is such a lovely post Kate! Like commenters before me, I am in great envy of those who enjoy running. I am keen to give it a better shot this year though - I just need to convince Sam to tackle this with me...
Kate...so beautifully written! You were one of my inspirations when I began running and so I'm really happy to have an update from you on that front. The last bit about having "tough spells" really hit home for me. I'm going through a tough time myself in my running life, but I'm hoping to get back to normal and actually begin improving soon.
AND...I SO know what you mean about not being to adequately describe the beauty one often sees during runs. I have seen countless dusk moonrises over the Atlantic that were simply breathtaking as I run my route and, of course, I don't have a camera to capture the beauty I see.
Kudos on the RoadID. I have the exact same one and I also have the ankle reflectors and the flashing light for my waist. Still...drivers are stupidly oblivious and I'm always vigilant.
I do enjoyed this post & reading about your passion for running! Sounds really great...
What are your essentials for cold weather runs?
What a perfect post. I can relate so much. I started blogging about running over a year ago as my first personal writing and haven't stopped. I was hesitant too as running has given me, me. It's my church. Thank you for sharing.
i love this post. i ran for years and years before i really started to enjoy it. i tribute moving to a new city and running outside, along with always having something to train for as my main motivators. running clears my thoughts and like you, has put me at peace with my body. no longer about fitting into a certain size, but about strong legs that can carry me mile after mile.
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